A Celebration of God

January 24, 2010

Day 6

Today I sat in on a Baptist service at the House of Prayer in Harlem. Never before have I witnessed such passion, emotion, and spirituality. It was truly a celebration of God.

The sermon itself was okay. The message given didn't really fit in with my values and my beliefs, but what I appreciated was the intense passion of the pastor. His sermon started off relatively quiet and calm, but as the service progressed, he spoke louder and louder and became more and more energetic. His spirit moved me.

Of course, my favorite part of the service was the New Orleans-style jazz band made up of primarily trombones. The music they created in that room today was incomparable to anything I have ever heard before. It was indescribable; it was moving, inspiring and emotional. I honestly got the chills.

I wasn't the only one moved. There were women in the congregation who were so touched by the music- who felt the Lord so strongly- that they stood up- eyes closed and arms raised- and just danced.

It's interesting to contrast a service like this with services I have been to in the past. I have sat in on a lot of services from many different denominations, and I've noticed throughout the years that many church-goers can be a bit rigid, shy and serious. The solemn faces of those congregations made me feel as if going to church was a chore. But today, as I sat amongst a congregation that was high-spirited and energetic, I felt as if I was part of a celebration.

Exploration and Learning

January 22, 2010

Day 4

As I wander through the streets of New York City- hopping on subways, meeting cool people, exploring the diverse neighborhoods it has to offer- I find myself wondering why some people are content to stay in their own corners of the world, never to explore, never to see, never to taste, touch and hear all the world has to offer. I realize that some people don't have the means to explore to the extent that I have been able to, but there are many who choose not to. I don't mean to be judgmental. It's just not a life I would want to lead, nor is it a life that I understand.

I just feel so good right now. So passionate and lucky and blessed. I find myself wanting to cry from happiness several times each day. I'm overwhelmed by the joy I feel from learning. When I start thinking about it too much, I become overwhelmed by the infinite amount of knowledge that there is in the world. I want to know things; I want to see things!

As terrible as last semester was for me emotionally, I felt as if something finally clicked for me. After reading A Small Place and We the Living, I understand the world so much better. I've never connected and engaged with a book as deeply as I did with those. They instilled in me an understanding of so many key concepts that completely dictate our lives. They have allowed for me to see the world in a different light; the world is so much more complex than I had ever imagined.

Ahh, I am bursting.... BURSTING with happiness!

Letting Go

I've never been one to share my thoughts. I've kept a journal since I was small, and I write in it every so often. I've written letters to myself and to the people I care about, but mostly I just write.

It's amazing how freely I write when I'm writing to no one. When I write in my journal, there is no one to judge me, my writing, my ideas, or my feelings; my guard is completely down. But as I lay in bed trying to write this blog, I find myself at a loss for words.

I'm going to try blogging as an exercise in letting go (inspired by my Mom)- in letting go of judgement and of insecurity. Here is where it begins.